Finding Mocha Mocha Diaries

Mocha Diaries: The People We Meet

I’ve long believed that the people we meet, we meet for a reason. I especially feel this more since I live in  a city at the moment. Why are we only friends with certain people? Why are we not crossing paths with all those who pass by us on a daily basis? Why doesn’t everyone in the world know everyone? Granted I think most of us couldn’t keep 7 billion names straight if we tried, but it is something to ponder.

I think that we let certain people into our lives for different reasons, whether consciously or subconsciously. We could get to know someone else better that we don’t know, but we choose not to, unless we are in a circumstance that really makes us introduce ourselves to others. So most of the time our acquaintances are created out of polite chit chat or one time interactions, that we may not remember. I like to think that the ones we let into our life serve a purpose or they possess that, “click.”

Serving a purpose probably sounds evil to some people, like maybe I’m a conniving plotting bitch using people. But we all use people in different ways, because if we didn’t none of us would grow as a person. I choose the people who have come into my life for various reasons or circumstances, sometimes you work with what you got. Which means at times I have befriended people I would never ever be friends with under normal conditions, or at most we’d only be acquaintances. This is where the growing comes in. There was a part of me that wondered if friendships fell apart, because of a lack of communication or because of differences. Most of the time it is a bit of both. I slowly ghost people when I want them out of my life for a number of reasons.

If I think you are having a negative impact on my life I will start to refrain from seeing you. This is a lesson to me that there is something about being around this person that triggers me to fall into a dark hole and I need to figure out what the negative energy is trying to tell me. Sometimes it takes a long fucking time. Finding out what that negative impact means to me does not mean the other person is a negative person or that they are a problem. Rather it symbolizes there is a problem with me that this person triggers. Sometimes we outgrow people and this person is helping us realize where we need to grow and change. It isn’t an easy thing to let go of people, it hurts a lot. But they have taught us that during this period of time they were the type of person we needed in our life and maybe our lives will diverge in the future with contact once in a blue moon.

There are relationships that I form when I am not at my best. I’m more likely to pick someone who is not helpful at getting me out of the rut, but either at keeping me down or keeping me sidetracked. Neither of these is a good choice. The thing about relationships that are formed at a low point is that there are the people you know who as your mind becomes more sound fall to the side, because that is the healthier option for you. This might sound bad, but a little distance can sometimes help to heal a relationship. Although understanding is a two way street and not everyone chooses to meet in the middle, there isn’t much we can do to fix the other person’s way of viewing the friendship.

There are people who have entered my life like a storm up turning everything in their path. These people serve a greater purpose and I have chosen them to create havoc in my life for the sole purpose that I know I need it. That this enigma of a person is here to guide me, to teach me something that I haven’t been able to teach myself. Life teachers. The people who have gone through their own hardships and emerged out the other side as healers. Their role in my life is to help me heal myself. The answers aren’t given to me instead a healer only knows how to poke and prod until they evoke questions that rock the core of who you are. Something deep inside awakens when you meet a healer. For me, the healers have awoken the deepest part of me I lost somewhere along the years to self-loathing. Healers tend to be people who we keep in our lives as there is much to be learned and in the process of healing ourselves their insight is invaluable, as they teach us that life isn’t meant to be stagnant. Our journey with ourselves is to continually transcend who we currently are and then reach out and help others as we cross paths with them.

Sometimes stormy meetings happen in the heart. These meetings are fleeting and yet they have a point. There is something about a fleeting moment that can impact us for a long time, because it challenges our beliefs. It challenges the views we have about what we want in life and encourages us to take a chance. Breathe, enjoy the moment, and take a chance. Sometimes learning to take chances is one of the harder lessons to learn in life, especially as we age. For me, I love thinking about taking chances. I toy with those kind of ideas all the time, I rarely act on them. Looking back I never acted on them, because I was in so low of a place for such a long time I suppressed that side of me that wanted to be like everyone else. However, after a stormy meeting or two of the heart I learned that I wasn’t meant to be like everyone else. I’m someone who wants to live a bumpy life and take chances, because a chance not taken will surely end in regret. A stormy individual in my life, doesn’t mean their personality is like a storm, or their way of life is. It means that they are set in who they are and they have opened my eyes to an alternative to try. To see that there is more to life than just what I am thinking or what I have been exposed to as the norm. Stormy individuals don’t necessarily stay in our lives, it can be brief or it could be for a lifetime. That is the true meaning of a storm you never know how long it will last, but it always leaves a stunning sky in its wake.

The people we meet are random individuals that we decided to turn to and say, “Hey, I like this human. They seem kinda cool. I want to see them again.” I’ll never know how long they will stay in my life, but every person I meet is never a curse. There isn’t a person who I say is a waste of my time. If I viewed the people who hurt me in life as a waste of time, I would say that my life was a waste of time, that those years didn’t matter. That I didn’t matter during that time. The truth of the matter is I have always mattered, my time has always mattered, but during those low points I didn’t realize how valuable my time was.  I didn’t realize that I have much to be thankful for to those individuals, because I learned about  myself. I grew as a person and challenged my presumptions about me, which if I never had met them I wouldn’t have learned. So thank you for the lessons.

Relationships no matter in what capacity are a bit of chance, luck, and hard work. If we didn’t take a chance to meet someone, then we wouldn’t have known that the hard work of maintaining relationships results in sometimes the luck of chance encounters. The next time you walk by someone just smile or say hello. You never know if that person will be the next one to walk into your life and bring out a new side of yourself you never knew existed.

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