33 Acts for Self-Love and Self-Care

To me working on self-love or loving myself has been an ongoing process for many many years. In fact it is still a work in progress which I am better at navigating as I am getting gracefully older or not, haha. A part of self-love is giving yourself self-care, especially in practices and routines that make you feel grounded in life. This year I have not put much effort into my self-care routine as I would have hoped for, so I think for my 33rd year on this beautiful planet I’d like to invest a little more time into that. Hopefully it will further the self-love I have been developing over these past few years. Read More

Mocha Diaries: To My Teenage Self

To my teenage self;

Being a moody shit, I’m sure.

I wish I had written a letter to myself when I was a teenager, especially during my high school years.I was never one of the cool kids, or the popular kids, whatever you want to call them. I feel like I floated by in my own way, I had a friend circle and I had other friends I was close to that weren’t part of that circle, who I became closer with during those years. Read More

Mocha Diaries : Refuge Vows

I can’t remember if I was 9 or 10 years old, but I was baptized Catholic around the same time I stopped believing in God. Ever since I can remember I have never liked churches nor stepping inside them. I’ve always found the white walls, brown pews, and high ceilings cold and uninviting. While the stained glass windows were pretty to look at I just never felt like it was for me, and for most of my life I was an agnostic. Sometimes people would say, “oh, you’re an atheist.” And I would reply, “No, I’m agnostic. I believe there is something out there, just not God.” It gets kind of tiring after a while, but I think it was a good place to be for a long time.

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Mocha Diaries : Growing Pains

My relationship has been going through some ‘growing pains’. The relationship itself is not easy because this is the first time we have lived together for this long, ontop of being with his family.

My Tibetan is improving, but it is improving slowly and so we have some misunderstandings and frustrations with each other. Sometimes it is a cultural misunderstanding and other times it is born out of an eye roll and mumbling under my breath.

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Mocha Diaries: Focusing on My Health

Trying to find myself has meant a lot of soul-searching and exploring my thoughts and emotions. While I have been working on the mental side, my physical side was neglected. Our bodies are our temple and if they don’t function well neither do we. It has taken me a long time to realize I need to start prioritizing my health. I am young and in many ways, from an American perspective, I am healthy. Read More

Finding Mocha: 5 Years Ago

All my life I’ve heard about the 5 year plan. It helps to keep you focused on your goals and to work towards what you want in life. I’ve never had a 5 year plan, and I probably never will. Although in retrospect I have a lot to say about 5 year increments. I looked at the calendar the other day and realized it has been 5 years since my life change was finalized. Looking back the week leading up to that finalization was one of the longest weeks of my life and all I wanted was for everything to end so I could start over. Read More

Mocha Diaries: Mourning Changing Friendships

I have been mulling over this topic by myself for the past few months. For a long time the thought had always existed, but I never really probed into it more, because I was in a place where I could only focus on getting by day-to-day. Since I have been home for a while now, I’ve been lucky enough to have the space to mull over my thoughts without having too much background noise. This is the one place where I occasionally see friends, otherwise I am always by myself.  Read More

Mocha Diaries: My Friend, Anxiety

For a long time, I thought I was a person who ebbed in and out of minor low-lying depression. I never imagined I actually had anxiety problems as well. I occasionally have bouts of anxiety, which are normally triggered by something small. Normally it isn’t the end of the world, but I’ve realized if I have felt stressed about something for a few days to weeks then at some point anxiety is bound to hit me until I can calm down. Sometimes it takes a few hours or a good nights rest, if I’m able to sleep.

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Mocha Diaries: FOMO

Ever since I can remember I have suffered from FOMO ( Fear of missing out). I never really knew why it was so important to me to be like everyone else and have a similar existence, but I feared if I didn’t then I would regret it. I remember in high school it was particularly strong. I had a fear of missing out on homecoming and prom, even though I had no interest in either and I actually wish I hadn’t worried so much about being in attendance. That fear made me dismiss my thought of becoming an exchange student my junior year in high school, because I’d be missing out on the typical American high school life experiences.

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