Finding Mocha Ramblings

Finding Myself in 2023

I can’t believe this is my first post of 2023. This year one of my goals was to at least blog once a month and yet as you can see, we are in the 4th month of the year and I am finally making a blog post. This year is about me and finding myself. So far I have been struggling and shooting myself in the foot with my own goals.

My biggest goal is to get healthy in my mind and body so that I can keep up with my three-year-old daughter. I had told my husband I had gained a lot of weight because of the separation for a year , and she has been back with us for three months, however, I have not lost any weight at all. He keeps asking why I haven’t lost weight and gotten healthy even after our daughter came back to live with us. Part of me wonders if it was true or an excuse of mine, or if it was a combination of missing my daughter and this shit job of mine that causes me a lot of stress. Lately, I have been leaning on the fact it might be the job more than anything else.

I plan to eat better, but I end up snacking like I am on autopilot. I know what I need to do, it seems my mind hasn’t followed what my heart wants. There is a disconnect and I have to figure out how to ignore the urges to snack while I have breaks and to fill them with meaningful activities instead. Perhaps I will find a solution after some reflection on myself, my habits, and my triggers.

2023 plans to be an interesting year as I gave notice to my HR after my assessment that although I could continue to work here and renew my contract for another year, I have decided not to. The hope is to see family this autumn, there is no time frame or length of duration, but after five and a half years, it will be almost six years by the time I get home, it will be a good chance to reconnect and relax. I haven’t decided what to do after this contract ends in July, but I am looking forward to the lull and longer vacation up in my husband’s hometown until I figure out when I will be traveling.

I really hope this year I can figure out how to get my books illustrated and published, as well as, work on more language learning ideas for my daughter.I also hope that I will have the endurance and strength to do all the traveling I want to do with her and perhaps that is the motivation I need to step forward. When we were younger we used to make an inspiration board and I never found them to work, but perhaps what I need is a friendly reminder of what is coming up this year and of the endless possibilities in life as I close one chapter and open another in my work life.

I also hope to use this blog more and of course, reupload all of the old blog posts that I can. Here is to a successful April.

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