Mocha Diaries : Growing Pains

My relationship has been going through some ‘growing pains’. The relationship itself is not easy because this is the first time we have lived together for this long, ontop of being with his family.

My Tibetan is improving, but it is improving slowly and so we have some misunderstandings and frustrations with each other. Sometimes it is a cultural misunderstanding and other times it is born out of an eye roll and mumbling under my breath.

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Langauge Barrier as Adversity

For a long time I often wondered how people fell in love without speaking the same language. Is there really a love language?  I was never a firm believer in it for myself, but I have seen it with others and have heard numerous stories of love conquering barriers. You know, the things dreams are made of.  Continue reading “Langauge Barrier as Adversity”

Re-visiting Resolutions

Every year I set resolutions for myself and in many ways they end up not being completed, so the resolution rolls onto the next year. Forever snowballing forward into the future years. In the past this really bothered me and made me realize maybe I was not good at completing  resolutions. What I have learned instead is that there is no issue with my resolutions, rather that I may be a bit too ambitious. Continue reading “Re-visiting Resolutions”

Mocha Diaries: Focusing on My Health

Trying to find myself has meant a lot of soul-searching and exploring my thoughts and emotions. While I have been working on the mental side, my physical side was neglected. Our bodies are our temple and if they don’t function well neither do we. It has taken me a long time to realize I need to start prioritizing my health. I am young and in many ways, from an American perspective, I am healthy. Continue reading “Mocha Diaries: Focusing on My Health”

Finding Mocha: 5 Years Ago

All my life I’ve heard about the 5 year plan. It helps to keep you focused on your goals and to work towards what you want in life. I’ve never had a 5 year plan, and I probably never will. Although in retrospect I have a lot to say about 5 year increments. I looked at the calendar the other day and realized it has been 5 years since my life change was finalized. Looking back the week leading up to that finalization was one of the longest weeks of my life and all I wanted was for everything to end so I could start over. Continue reading “Finding Mocha: 5 Years Ago”

Mocha Diaries: Mourning Changing Friendships

I have been mulling over this topic by myself for the past few months. For a long time the thought had always existed, but I never really probed into it more, because I was in a place where I could only focus on getting by day-to-day. Since I have been home for a while now, I’ve been lucky enough to have the space to mull over my thoughts without having too much background noise. This is the one place where I occasionally see friends, otherwise I am always by myself.  Continue reading “Mocha Diaries: Mourning Changing Friendships”

Mocha Diaries: My Friend, Anxiety

For a long time, I thought I was a person who ebbed in and out of minor low-lying depression. I never imagined I actually had anxiety problems as well. I occasionally have bouts of anxiety, which are normally triggered by something small. Normally it isn’t the end of the world, but I’ve realized if I have felt stressed about something for a few days to weeks then at some point anxiety is bound to hit me until I can calm down. Sometimes it takes a few hours or a good nights rest, if I’m able to sleep.

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Mocha Diaries: FOMO

Ever since I can remember I have suffered from FOMO ( Fear of missing out). I never really knew why it was so important to me to be like everyone else and have a similar existence, but I feared if I didn’t then I would regret it. I remember in high school it was particularly strong. I had a fear of missing out on homecoming and prom, even though I had no interest in either and I actually wish I hadn’t worried so much about being in attendance. That fear made me dismiss my thought of becoming an exchange student my junior year in high school, because I’d be missing out on the typical American high school life experiences.

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Mocha Diaries: The Power of No

When I was young I was a very timid child outside of the house. It was almost like I had split personalities inside and outside. My youngest sister brought this to my attention when I was in high school and was in utter disbelief that I was the same person in school as I was at home. Scenarios can makes us change to fit in or stand out. I think my early years of being overly shy when meeting strangers and not wanting to draw attention to myself has had interesting effects on who I am today. Continue reading “Mocha Diaries: The Power of No”

Mocha Diaries: The Clouds Are Lifting

It has been a while now since the clouds have been lifting out of my life. That’s my little metaphor for my depression and anxiety issues at hand. Since I turned 30 I have been on a slow but steady incline toward a more sound mind. I’m not sure what exactly triggered it, but I’m thankful that my mind is more peaceful than it has been in a decade or two. Continue reading “Mocha Diaries: The Clouds Are Lifting”

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