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Tag: Finding Mocha

Motherhood

Motherhood

Motherhood I have always dreamed of since childhood

Motherhood was once what I thought might never happen

Motherhood I have now entered and yet

Motherhood is not what I envisioned

Motherhood isn’t the one of my dreams

Motherhood came crashing down on me unexpectedly

Motherhood that wasn’t ready for a preemie

Motherhood that has been dotted with anxiety

Motherhood during a pandemic

Motherhood with limited interaction

Motherhood felt with moments of isolation

Motherhood filled with thoughts of ‘Am I bad mother?’

Motherhood where on tired days the shitty displays of anger and snappyness I inherited show their faces

Motherhood has been an honor

Motherhood is a blessing

Motherhood is a part of life I had been longing for and now enjoy

Motherhood is like a mountain I have never climbed

Motherhood with silent battles inside my mind

Motherhood of trying to find myself

Motherhood that is shaped by my beliefs to do better for my daughter

Motherhood that has left me wondering why did this too go so unplanned and unexpected

Motherhood that is thankful we are both healthy

Motherhood that tells me it’s okay to mourn a pregnancy not carried to term

Motherhood that tells me it’s okay to mourn the birth experience I never got

Motherhood that tells me it’s okay to feel sad

Motherhood that sings lullabies to my child while I cry

Motherhood that needs the baby cuddles for myself as much as her

Motherhood that came with little support and love nearby

Motherhood that was navigated alone

Motherhood that longs for extended family and friends from time to time

Motherhood that finds joy in each new skill obtained by my daughter

Motherhood that finds my daughter’s smile infectiously joyous

Motherhood that enjoys sleeping side by side at night

Motherhood is another part of life that didn’t start smoothly like others, and yet this

Motherhood is my own compass to navigate

Embodying Health

Embodying Health

For over the past month, I’ve been at battle with myself and my habits in my head. Luckily, I learned my sister was about to embark on a new health journey and I decided to join in. My current effort in the first week, I failed on five and a half days. My first two and a half days I did awesome , minus not exercising. Here I am sitting down after having eaten three donuts and two pastries for lunch washed down with an iced latte. A blatant failure.

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A New Star

A New Star

I’ve chosen to think that a new star has graced the sky tonight. I’m not sure I will be able to see it here in the city, but the thought should offer some solace. A candle has finally burnt out and its scent still lingers. There are a thousand metaphors I could create and yet they all mean the same in the end: today we said goodbye.

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It Takes a Village

It Takes a Village

“It takes a village to raise a kid,” so often we hear this echoed, and yet our society no longer reflects this. Back home most people live as a nuclear family and their extended family may or may not live closeby. Even if they do, one shouldn’t expect them to help with raising a child. This is why so many children are in daycare when they are only a few months old or couples choose to have one parent stay home as it is more cost effective.

Naming Our Child

Naming Our Child

{Since I first drafted this post our daughter was born and has a given name. Given the fact that she was a preemie I find it extremely fitting for her.}

Our daughter’s given name transcribed in Tibetan Cursive.

Many moms and dads -to-be have names for their future children picked out long before they start families. I’m not one of those people. I hate picking names or naming people or things. For the last six and a half years I have had students and strangers ask me, what should my English name be? Whatever the hell you want it to be, I don’t know. Find a baby name list, pick a character you like, or just use your real name.

A Thank You to My Husband

A Thank You to My Husband

I don’t publicly boast about my husband much or if at all, but he has been really good to me while I have been pregnant and through the birth of our daughter. My husband is a fabulous cook and normally we split the cooking or I do more of it, but during my first trimester I felt nauseous all the time and had a busy school schedule which left me exhausted by the time I was getting home. So my husband cooked most dinners for us during that time and on the weekends he would occasionally cook lunch too. Lucky to say I always ate well!

Taken this summer during our vacation with my parents.

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34 Things to Accomplish

34 Things to Accomplish

Every year I make a list for my birthday whether it be a to do list or inspirational list. It is something I started on my 30th birthday and I want to continue it for as long as I can, even if the themes end up being repetitive. So here is my list of 34 things I hope to accomplish this year:

  1. Visit my family and spend quality time with them
  2. Visit a new place in Tibet
  3. Make a beautiful momo and take a photo of it
  4. Take our first family photo together
  5. Take a family photo together (all siblings and kids if possible)
  6. Swim in the ocean
  7. Go for a boat ride
  8. Spend time with my grandparents
  9. Take a family photo – Extended family
  10. Eat good pizza – pepperoni? pineapple and buffalo chicken?
  11. Have cha at Tenzin’s family’s house
  12. Visit Boston to see friends
  13. Visit NYC to see friends
  14. Visit hometown friends
  15. Plan a welcome back/thank you party
  16. Take our first international trip as a family
  17. Plan a wedding in Tibet
  18. Complete 50% of my 2020 Resolutions
  19. Document cultural practices around child rearing
  20. Learn lullabies in English and Tibetan
  21. Payback my parents slowly
  22. Make a Roth IRA & Contribute to it monthly
  23. Build a sizeable savings in China
  24. Create our own holiday traditions for Christmas & Losar
  25. Eat Indian Buffet in Queens
  26. Drink a spiced chai latte at Ashlawn Farm Coffee in OS
  27. Spend quality time with my niece, Gabrielle! Something artsy? crafty? fun? I need an idea!
  28. Have a holiday dinner during summer 2020
  29. Take mom & pops out for a meal
  30. Roast marshmallows & eat s’mores
  31. Learn to ride a horse
  32. Improve my Tibetan – from high -beginner to intermediate
  33. Choose the baby’s citizenship! (Still undecided for now)
  34. Learn more about bilingual parenting