Mocha Diaries: To My Teenage Self

To my teenage self;

Being a moody shit, I’m sure.

I wish I had written a letter to myself when I was a teenager, especially during my high school years.I was never one of the cool kids, or the popular kids, whatever you want to call them. I feel like I floated by in my own way, I had a friend circle and I had other friends I was close to that weren’t part of that circle, who I became closer with during those years. Read More

Mocha Diaries: My Friend, Anxiety

For a long time, I thought I was a person who ebbed in and out of minor low-lying depression. I never imagined I actually had anxiety problems as well. I occasionally have bouts of anxiety, which are normally triggered by something small. Normally it isn’t the end of the world, but I’ve realized if I have felt stressed about something for a few days to weeks then at some point anxiety is bound to hit me until I can calm down. Sometimes it takes a few hours or a good nights rest, if I’m able to sleep.

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Mocha Diaries: Self-Care

The month of October brought with it the Mocha Diaries. It is now November and the Mocha Diaries are still going strong. I’ve written a bit about questions I have for myself and how I came to give those questions power in my life. They most definitely have influenced me, and yet, from analyzing those questions I have begun one of the most important processes of my life: practicing self-care. Read More

Mocha Diaries: Why Do I Need To Lose Weight To Be Loved?


Let me start by saying, I’m not huge. I am a bit chubby, and if I had to take a BMI test it would say I am just over the line for the obese category. I’ve had an obsession with my weight equating to acceptance and love since I was in middle school. At the time all of my friends were smaller than I was and though we all suffered from the media’s perception of beauty it was twice as hard to watch my smaller friends find faults in themselves as it seemed those faults would be worse in someone who is bigger. Read More

Mocha Diaries: Why Don't I Put Myself First?

My hair is always a hot mess

I always ask myself this question: Why don’t I put myself first? I hear from others all the time to learn to put myself first. That is always easier said than done and there is always a reason as to why I haven’t done it yet. One problem I have realized from having low self-esteem is that when you don’t value yourself you try to find redemption from others. I need a way to redeem my self-worth and so if I do everything I can for others, maybe I can become a better person. I know for a  fact that doing things for others rarely helps me unless its something I truly want to do.  Read More

Mocha Diaries: Why do I give up easily?

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Ever met a person that persistently can’t make ends meet? Or they just get so close and say, “Nope! I don’t think I can do this!”  It’s funny a lot of people give me praise for learning languages, or traveling, etc, but most people don’t realize that I don’t consider myself successful in them.

Wait, hold up. Are you trying to beat yourself up, Nina? Are you talking down to yourself? Well to some it may seem like I’m talking myself down, but in reality I’m just trying to come to grips with why in my eyes I give up easily.

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