Recently I’ve realized I’ve put some weight back on. I wasn’t too thrilled about it, but I accepted it. I’ve also come to realize that I need to actually see what I am doing to reverse my success. Last year I lost 40 lbs between (July 2017 – May 2018) But during that timeframe I actually plateaued for several months.
However, I got a trainer and started working out despite not changing my eating habits. My gym closed and I was too lazy to continue going to a sister gym further away. If I exercise, it needs to be close to home or I won’t go. Then I decided to start seeing a TCM Doctor to help me look more at my health and what I could do to improve it. The suggestions he gave me helped me to continue to lose weight, despite not exercising and not adhering to all of his suggestions.
Which led me to wonder how did I gain 10lbs back since last May? I started reverting back to my old habits little by little. I started to go out for coffees more often. I would have a latte between 2-4 times a week, every week from September to January. I had street snacks if I was hungry, mostly pastries instead of a meal. Until Dondrup moved in with me I was literally eating out everyday because I was too lazy to cook. Then I started to get care packages, which I love, but I never have control around chocolate and sweets. And I devoured the sweets quickly leaving me with a giant sweet tooth. I went back to my habit of always buying a chocolate bar when I went into a store that sold them, not out of a need, but as a want.
Now, I believe the occasionally indulgence is fine. But, I know that this lifestyle is how I ended up getting to 200lbs (91kg) in the first place. I don’t want to go back to that. My body was in so much pain while carrying that weight. I had really bad back and hip pain, as well as knee pain. So at the end of February, I decided I needed to take a glance at my eating habits. I kept a food diary for three days, not long I know, but enough to let me know my old eating habits were back. Where I will literally eat until my stomach hurts, or I’ll eat all the snacks in sight so that they are gone and I can begin a fresh. It shouldn’t be an all or nothing. But at the moment when my sweet tooth is strong, I can’t have any snacks in the house. I will sit and eat them until my stomach hurts. I don’t want to do that anymore.
So as my two year weight loss journey marker approaches I was thinking of how can I motivate myself to get back where I was and continue the path that I was on? Small incremental changes, with no pressure on myself. I’m not calorie counting, I’m not doing intermittent fasting, and I’m not going to do keto or whatever diet is popular now. No, I’m going to eat what I want in moderation. My goal is to learn moderation as I want to eat well for life, not just a few months. I’m still gonna want all the food, especially sweets so I need to learn how to enjoy them when I have them, or learn to enjoy them while having a smaller portion. So I’m trying to think about my choices and to be honest this week I haven’t done well at all.
I’m adjusting to a new work schedule and lunch and breakfast are my largest obstacles. I need to wake up early enough on the three days I leave at 6:30 for work to have a good breakfast. I can eat at my schools, but I don’t particularly enjoy the breakfast selection. As for lunch, I need to eat an early lunch at home or I need to eat a lunch at school if I am able to before my classes start. That way I’m not setting myself up to visit a bakery or convenience store for a quick snack to hold me over. Because I’m also going to buy some chocolate and instant coffee to keep me going, which doesn’t help and gives me a nice afternoon sugar crash.
So, this food diary has helped me realize what in my schedule is causing me to fail and what I am eating when faced with that situation. I’m reaching for quick and easy which is not what my body needs. Exercise is a different monster entirely. I hate exercising even though I can easily squeeze a time in everyday to do a little of something. I don’t look forward to it and I don’t feel a euphoric high unless I have been exercising for over half an hour. So my motivation is low and I’ve decided as long as the weather isn’t shitty and my schedule allows I’ll try to go for a jog at the local university. As for exercising at home I actually did a little yoga last night after we came home from a restuarant because my stomach hurt from being full and having Lhasa sweet tea( it has milk) and my back actually has been bothering me. I only spent about 10 minutes doing something, but my stomach and back felt better and it reminded me of why I should continue stretching and moving my body.
My biggest wake up call to this was shortly after coming back from vacation. My back was in a lot of pain and it wouldn’t go away. I was telling Dondrup this isn’t okay, why does it hurt so bad when I didn’t do anything? He looked at me and said, “Because you aren’t working. ( As in physical work) Once you stop the body tends to hurt. But if you have work your body doesn’t hurt.” And I thought about it, I might have been sore, but I wasn’t in pain. I basically became a lazy shit after returning home. During the vacation everyday I would carry between 4 – 28 5Liter buckets of water depending on the water needed for the day. On days it was just water for daily tasks it was about 4 buckets as I liked to keep it full so his mother wouldn’t have to do it in the morning. If it was closer to 28 buckets it was the normal load of water use as well as doing a few loads of laundry. You have to physically carry the water to put into the washing machine for the wash and rinse cycle. It really puts into perspective how much water we use on a daily basis. Then I would help wash dishes, cook, feed the fire, or scoop and carry dried yak poop to keep the house warm. These were everyday chores so I was busy lifting heavy objects all day for three weeks and then I just did nothing.
So after feeling better yesterday, I’m trying to remind myself do something, anything for me! Even five minutes of yoga or stretching is really good for the body and mind and it’s a nice-self love practice! So over the next few months I want to work hard at my goals before July 2nd which was my start date two years ago. I have a few reasons for starting again:
- I want to be active and healthy as I grow older.
- I want to ease my current joint pain.
- I want to set a healthy example.
- I want to be at a healthy weight before I try to get pregnant in the future.
- I want to be more flexible.
- I want to have a stronger core so that my posture gets better and will reduce headaches and back pain.
- I want to take care of my body, because it is the only one I have.
- I want to walk up four flights of stairs without getting winded. ( I currently live on the 4th floor.)
- I want to have a better digestion. Mine is terrible if I keep up like this.
- I want to be more mindful of my eating habits and portions.
- I want to eat so that my body is happier.
- I want to reduce my dependency on coffee. (I know I can do this as I did it for six weeks last summer).
All of these are for my health and the long haul of life. Being unhealthy can become expensive in the long term. So it is better to start taking care of my health so that my body is happy. And that means taking the time to listen to what my body is saying to me!