The other day someone messaged me asking if I was enjoying my ‘crazy life’. I replied I was, but something about the wording has stuck with me for the last week. Why is my life crazy?
Would it be crazy if I moved to a big city in the USA? Would it be crazy if I moved across the United States? Would it be crazy if I moved to another English-speaking country? Is it only crazy, because I am living in a foreign country that doesn’t speak English?
My life is far from crazy, interesting maybe, but rather normal and monotonous on a regular schedule. I might have moved overseas, but my life is no different than my life back home. I spend my time going to work, seeing friends, looking at social media, and spending time with my boyfriend. I sometimes go out to eat and I attend a local gathering I became a member of, hardly crazy stuff. It’s only crazy because I’m in China and well everyone speaks Mandarin around me. But my daily life for the most part is all in English, except when I go to stores and use my extremely limited Mandarin, or when I talk to my boyfriend in Tibetan.
So I’d like to say there is nothing crazy about my life, if anything it’s crazier to think most people I know never moved a little away from home to experience the world, or the vibe of a different city nearby.
Which brings me to my next point: I’m tired of people saying “mom life, is the best life.” Good for you on being a mom. Saying it is the best life? Matter of opinion. If mom life is the best life that means everyone who isn’t a mom is not living the best life possible. Which is a pretty shitty statement to make. There are many women who do not want to be moms, and that is cool! They are living their own lives the way they want! Some women want to have children, but at the moment for whatever personal reasons they are unable to. Does that mean their current lives are not their best lives? That only having a child will make it better? It seems like a cruel statement to make when you may not know the other person’s circumstances.
Me? I’d love to be a mom, but life so far has not played in my favor. It looks like my fears of being an older mom will come true and it won’t happen for me until I am closer to 34 or 35 years old. There isn’t a time when I don’t think about it or worry about my own fertility as I age. I have constant reminders every week, of friends posting photos of their kids, pregnancy announcements, baby bump photos, and birth announcements, believe me as much as I am happy for those in my life each photo reminds me it isn’t a part of my life yet.
It’s a shitty pill to swallow that my choices in life have made me on the older spectrum of future motherhood. Meaning most of my friends will be done by the time I start, and until I start I have constant reminders 24/7 on social media that I am not part of the “mother crowd” or “mom life is the best life.” I want to be a mom, but I don’t think it’s the best life or only life. Mothers are people with multiple sides to them and I’m glad I am taking care of me and enjoying my life in the meantime. I have my own insecurities about the future and whether or not I’ll ever get a chance to be a mom, or when it will happen, but it doesn’t mean my current life is not good. I have a nice job, excellent vacation, a loving boyfriend, friends and family, studying Tibetan and eating all the food I like. There are things I wish I could improve, more money, less long distance, no debt, better health, but that is how it is at the moment. I feel like the next time someone asks about my life, I want to say, “I am loving my life as it is now. It is always changing and that is what makes it so enjoyable. Insecurities, imperfections and all, I’m living life as my authentic self. I hope you are doing the same.”