Mocha Diaries : Growing Pains

My relationship has been going through some ‘growing pains’. The relationship itself is not easy because this is the first time we have lived together for this long, ontop of being with his family.

My Tibetan is improving, but it is improving slowly and so we have some misunderstandings and frustrations with each other. Sometimes it is a cultural misunderstanding and other times it is born out of an eye roll and mumbling under my breath.

One day he planned to go to town to see a friend who was visiting and I mumbled that we never went anywhere. It erupted into him not talking to me for about half an hour and while translating it went from telling me to leave and go back to Chengdu (basically breaking up) to an understanding and honesty that we love each other and he doesn’t like seeing me crying.

Our growing pains are minor things that need patience and persistence on my part for them to be resolved as he shuts down for a little bit. We have a lot working against us including a language barrier and cultural differences.

I’ve learned that that snappy part of me that I inherited from my family does not help me in these situatuons but rather exacerbates everything. I’m realizing that trait of mine sucks and it really needs to change. It does not help resolve anything and it can hurt other peoples’ feelings. I look at myself in our relationship and I realize my flaws are easier to see when it is harder to communicate. I have a lot to work on and I know he does too.

These growing pains as much as they hurt now are part of this process of me transcending my own self. As well as, to know that even if I am shedding tears it shows me how much love there is and how far I am willing to work through the obstacles. I hope I look back one day on these obstacles fondly.

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